I believe in miracles. I believe that love's a miracle and baby you're a dream come trueeeee.

BAHHHHHH HUMBUG!

DO you guys ever just get the feeling that what you want isn't what you need? I feel that way about people. Momo brought up a very interesting point last week as I was going through my daily spiel about how I feel like Kyrie and I were destined to be together... she shook up my ENTIRE world with one simple question: "But would you believe that God could have someone who will actually be a much better match for you than Kyrie?"

I must have thrown my phone across the room. I did NOT want to hear that. My fictional relationship in my head with Kyrie sustains me. I actually believe it was intended to become my coping skill or miracle or simply my eye opening "Come to Jesus" situation/moment. Because I'm WELL aware that there is NO easily foreseen reason that Kyrie and I would ever even cross paths, much less fall so deeply in love besides a miracle from the Lord. Our fictional relationship only strengthened my relationship with God. Why? Because I knew know the Lord wouldn't allow me to fall so deeply for a complete stranger without a plan for us. (And when I say deeply, I mean crazy deep. Like, I'll defend him in casual conversation. I'll bring him up whenever someone asks me if I'm in a relationship. It's borderline delusional.)

But the THING about it is, and not to literally compare anyone, but I'm unsure of Kyrie's relationship with the Lord. Russell Wilson lets it be known at EVERY chance that he KNOWS who died for him and is the reason he is blessed the way he is. I just don't see that happening with bae (Kyrie). Now, he could be more private with his relationship and that's not a problem I don't believe, but are we equally yoked and that blows my mind. Like, am I supposed to pray for him to realize he needs a relationship with God? Does he actually have one and just isn't public about it? Let us pray: Lord, I pray that my future husband is somewhere trying to become acceptable in thy sight and praying for our relationship to pleasing to you. Lord, I also pray that Kyrie Andrew, granted I'm expecting him to be my spouse however, if that isn't your will, I pray that he has a relationship with you or finds one soon. I pray that he recognizes you as his strength and his redeemer. I pray that he seeks you in everything he does. Now Lord, back to my future husband, may you open my eyes and heal my heart to see and accept him. As it stands today, you know I don't think I'm ready for any type of relationship, but Lord, I pray that you work on me. Guide me to where you want me to be. Hold my hand and take me to a new job this season. Lord I love you and wouldn't be able to get along without you. AMEN.